Introduction

After listening to an insightful conversation between Steven Bartlett (Diary of a CEO) and Evy Poumpouras, I found myself reflecting on some key ideas about victim mentality, relationships, and decision-making. These themes come up often in life, and the way we navigate them can be the difference between stagnation and growth.

Breaking Free from Victim Mentality

We all face challenges—sometimes painful, sometimes unfair—but how we respond to them determines whether we stay trapped or regain control.

Evy made an interesting point about how easy it is to downplay our own role in situations:

“We actually downplay our faults when we make a mistake—it’s not that big of a deal. But when you downplay your involvement, your choices, your role in your life, then you’re powerless.”

That doesn’t mean blaming ourselves for everything, but it does mean recognising that even in difficult situations, we often have some degree of influence over what happens next. Whether that’s setting boundaries, adjusting our perspective, or making different choices, regaining a sense of agency—however small—can be empowering.

That said, I don’t think it’s always as simple as deciding to “stop being a victim.” Some situations take time to process, and growth isn’t always immediate. The key might be noticing where we do have choices, rather than focusing solely on what’s outside our control.

Who We Surround Ourselves With Matters

One of the most striking parts of the conversation was how much our relationships shape our reality.

Evy explained:

“If you’re locked in a place, it’s because of the system you have around you—one that you also help create and perpetuate to some degree. We’re not completely innocent; we play a role.”

This isn’t about blaming ourselves for difficult relationships, but about recognising that who we allow into our space affects how we feel and what we believe is possible for us.

She also spoke about the impact of our closest relationships:

“Whoever you pick for your companion, that person is either going to raise you up, or they’re going to sink your ship down.”

It’s not always as simple as walking away from people who don’t bring out the best in us—relationships are complex, and people are rarely all good or bad. But if certain dynamics consistently hold us back or drain us, it’s worth asking whether we want to keep investing our energy there.

Trusting Your Intuition

Another key takeaway was about intuition. We often sense when something isn’t right but talk ourselves out of it. Evy’s advice?

“Your gut instincts—listen to them, always. Your body knows before your mind catches up.”

That doesn’t mean being suspicious of people, but it does mean paying attention to how we feel around them and not dismissing those early warning signs.

Making Decisions Without Overthinking

One of the most valuable insights from the interview was about decision-making—and how seeking too many opinions can actually weaken our confidence.

Evy put it simply:

“The bigger the decision, the fewer people I ask. People’s opinions will send you in every direction like a ping-pong ball.”

That really resonated. It’s natural to seek reassurance, especially when we’re unsure, but constantly checking in with others often leads to more confusion than clarity.

Steven reflected on this too, saying:

“If you look at the most successful people, they trust that voice inside of them. Even when it doesn’t make logical sense at the time, they follow it—and when you zoom out, you see how all their decisions built an incredible life.”

Decisions don’t always feel comfortable, and sometimes we won’t be 100% sure. But waiting for certainty often means staying stuck. As Evy put it:

“There’s no perfect choice. Just pick something and do it. Even if it’s wrong, you’re not stuck. You can change your decision.”

That perspective feels freeing. More often than not, we learn through action rather than waiting for the perfect answer.

Final Thoughts

This conversation left me with a lot to think about, and the takeaways that stood out most were:

✅ Victimhood and personal power aren’t always black and white. Sometimes we have more control than we realise; other times, we need time before change is possible.

✅ The people we surround ourselves with influence us more than we think. Relationships aren’t always simple, but recognising patterns and trusting our intuition can help us make better choices.

✅ Decisions don’t have to be perfect. The key is to start moving—action creates clarity.

There’s no single right way to navigate all of this—just different ways to stay aware, stay open, and build trust in ourselves over time.